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Recently, I was mistreated, and even though the fault was not mine, I had to take care of business and rectify the situation. So stay cool and don’t lose your mind. Just take a breath and follow your steps, and be confident, respectful and don’t read too much into their emotions and words. Just keep track of what is said and write everything down in person.Then read it back, you will get their attention. :)

I guess I was more mad at the fact that my boy was (wrongfully) kicked out of daycare, and money was taken, deducted from my deposit and no one would even talk to me about it. I was upset, yet I knew I had not done any wrong as I was accused. BUT the daycare would not refund me the wrongfully charged $50, as published in http://wp.me/p1hRO1-9w. But now who cares right? I got my $50 bucks and all because of my soft skills and grace. Mostly, because I had done everything correctly.

It’s funny how you can live your life, be as honest as possible and still be accused of dishonesty, and then by luck your opponent in the drama is full of pride, and never admit they are wrong. I learned in working in the corporate world by a high up V.P. “you can’t fix dumb”. The situation that he meant this for was a situation where people made quick and bad choices that affected a segment in their near future. As in this case.

Basically,  I was accused of bouncing a check. I called the daycare when I learned from the bank that the check was never presented to them. Nothing showed for the request to cash the check in question. The good news about this is that my check writing record is still in excellent condition, right? Right. But the bad thing is…the daycare owner kept saying “that’s your problem, not mine. You have to deal with it.” I can’t tell you how disrespectful that is and feels. Usually the problem is of the person that writes the check, but the check wasn’t presented to my bank. Anyway, I wasn’t getting ANY response from them, I felt ignored. So I used the information from the back of the copied check in question that was sent from her bank to her. She didn’t even share with me her bank name, but I am no fool, I can see the Bank STAMP. I informed them the embarrassing situation and as soon as they confirmed that it was a scanner at their bank that made the mistake, I requested a letter of explanation sent to me, and in it I received a letter of apology. I had requested that the bank call her and also send her this information and they did. A several days later I received a money order in the mail from the daycare.

I heard this phrase “when you know better, you do better.” And you may ask “What about people that just don’t get it?” My advice is … Excuse yourself, and walk away. If they are that bad of people they don’t deserve any energy from you. And forgive them, cause you can’t fix people.

Have a fruitful day everyone!

I started out blogging this year about truth. My truth was tested and I passed. But no one cared or noticed. I wanted a pat on the back for it and maybe a ceremony that had me cutting a ribbon with a gigantic scissor. Wow, since when did my ego get involved in my truth? Or since when did my values turn into a multiple personality issue? I can hear Madea sayin’ “was an otter-body axperance”.  I love Madea, but I don’t think I embody her in or outer-body experiences. :)

I was happy I had some good things happen to me in 2012, but lemme tell ya how I have officially been screwed as well in the 2nd week of the year. Hello..! Someone has bullied me into letting them take my money and it was nowhere near my fault. IN this life “Los justos pagan por los pecadores.” The just pay for the sinners. And maybe this is the case. You do your best to keep your FICO score up high, and you pay a lot in cash to avoid using credit and the 1 day you write a check to someone and BAM! You are accused and terminated from DAYCARE without a sit down conversation, because someone else screwed the trust up for future people. “NO SOUP FO” YOU!” I am stunned in WTF-just-happened Land.

I am conflicted with relief I am out of a weird contract that charges and /or has you bound to a 2 month notice or be charged; And I am angered because I wasn’t very happy after my original daycare lady decided to merge with another one in the neighborhood, because funny things started to happen.

First, my little one had bruises that were not logged, and oh… no one knew where they came from.

Second, we had to pick up the children early even though the contract was for 7am – 5pm. Uh, we got 2 traffic tickets trying to get there on time and it wasn’t even 4:50 PM. We still got the stink eye for it. I felt like my daycare ladys’ “heart deposits” were losing points or going in the negative. So, I felt like I had to make it up somewhere, so I would pick up the little guy early when I thought of it. Nope! To her that doesn’t count. Like “you aren’t doing me any favors.”

Third, recently the little guy was potty trained. I was super excited because he is 3 years and 4 months old, and he was difficult on that segment of parenthood. So, when we noticed the little guy was sleeping through the night dry, and actually getting up to go potty and telling us every time he went, we sent the little one in his new and cool undies that he picked out himself. I believe it was a Tuesday, I couldn’t get up because I was up late studying and I picked him up that afternoon. I don’t know about you, but I was a bit more bothered (I was livid on the inside) than normal when the Daycare lady says “well he was brought in with out a pull up on so I put one right on his undies. Then I realized he had long johns and pants and that made 4 layers so I left him in the long johns. 4 layers is a bit much, right?” Am like “what?” You know what, if you have an issue with me bringing my potty trained child in and you are unsure if he can handle it, Please call me first. Don’t torture my kid for my mistakes.

What got me feeling that I was different was when I tried being nice and doing quick conversation, the daycare lady simply walked away saying “oh really, yeah, yeah, yeah.” What kind of dismissal was that? Hey, you don’t have to tell me twice. That had me preparing for a non-renewal with these Daycare chickies. I started looking around, the next thing I know I am in a text accused of writing a check to a closed account.I knew had an account open and in good standing, so I gave them a whole months last payment in cash, since I had given them my notice in October. But when I pick up my child, I am so worn out from the stress because no one wants to speak with me and BELIEVE me, BAM! I don’t even see it comin’.  I am wrongfully terminated and wrongfully charged. I am given part of my money and the returned check charged to me and an additional penalty charge was ON THERE. I felt defeated, because she was adamant “It’s your problem, not mine!” “No, It’s your bank that made the error” I said. I just didn’t want to fight anymore.

The next day I look in the envelope of cash, and the receipt of the returned check is not in there. So I ask for it and wait another day. When I receive it and read it, in plain text was the error. Instead of the my check account number 1234567, it showed the closed account was 1234578. Silence, and then anger made my hands move towards the telephone and dial her number and tell her. “Hello Mrs. Jane Doe, you need to look at your statement there and compare my check and the 3rd segment of the statement reflecting the closed account. You will see that you owe me an apology, and the return of the wrongful charges you have made to me. Otherwise, I will have to in my right use the right resources to resolve this issue.

Today I couldn’t wait so I called her bank and spoke to the manager and the regional rep and asked them to either do a 3 way call explaining to her that it was their mistake and I wanted a letter from the bank with an explanation of the mistake. Well, the bank called her, Do you think she has had the courtesy to call me and apologize? No. Instead, I got a text “I prefer not to have anymore communication.” I think I will give her the benefit of the doubt of 2 days. After that I think I may make a bigger stir about things since it is a real business and it was their mistake and their problem, and they pretty much stole from me, and who knows who they told. I don’t want to mention their childcare name since I don’t know if it’s unlawful, plus I am expecting to hear from them. Maybe there is a purple unicorn in there somewhere. :D

You know, I am glad that even though my economy isn’t doing that well as them, that I can still make sure I pay all my bills, and not bounce any checks. Yet, I do not feel satisfied. Is it really the principle? I don’t know, but my truth ego wants my $50 bucks back, biznatch! LOL!

Has this happened to you? Comments, council and advice is open.

Reference: “heart deposits” from His needs Her needs. Good book. Also see His needs Her needs for Parents.

B.S. Detector

I believe this year, like every four we are going to find out who is truthful and who is not. Recently, our neighbors and people in the media have jumped back into “politics”. For years I didn’t quite understand what it really really meant, and I am still not interested in discussing politics. Not because I don’t know enough, but mostly because I do know, and what I am seeing and hearing.

I used to admire people that were able to talk to anyone, and if they knew about all subjects and everything I was really impressed. Our politicians in the current presidential race, are people that are knowledgeable, and know how to “deliver” a message. Yet, there is a lot of witch hunting and “defending values” going on. Yet, I am not impressed, and I am including our current chief of staff.

Recently, I had received an invitation to an event for which I am really not fond of. I detected  the feeling of a lie in our conversation and then caught them in it and asked them to be truthful next time. That left me with an awful feeling of the friendship, because it was what I call “a lie of selfishness”.  Then I thought “hey, none of us are 100% truthful, not even with ourselves.” This is what had me think of all of this including New Years resolutions.

It is not uncommon that New years resolutions last for a few weeks. Even though the definition is “The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination. and  A course of action determined or decided on.” If you care to look around this year and sometimes in the mirror, and figure out who is true themselves with regard to their New Years resolution. Why? Because it leads to the question are they people of their word? Or is it that they do not understand completely the concept of a person that their word is their honor.

You see, many people make these commitments to resolve an issue and meet a personal goal. A PERSONAL GOAL. Did I say a commitment of a personal goal? The point in making here is the yearly “resolution artists” are treating it like a “wish”. I think it would be funny to call it the New Years Trying-hard-at-best, instead of a New Years resolution.

The past has passed. I dare you not to chicken-out on yourself. Make a new resolution on your word, to commit to your commitment. To be even more firm on your firm determination, to stop your negatives, to stop listening to your Sgt. Ego, because you are good enough. To start listening to your values and be brave to stick up for them in a respectful manner. Resolve to be kinder to yourself, so that you can be the kindest to others. Be happy for others, so that you can be happy for yourself. Resolve with yourself that you will  treat others as well as yourself, as if- they are the most important individual in your life. And without a doubt, you will look in the mirror- and detect your own truth.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Definitions found on http://www.thefreedictionary.com.

Observe and Report

This time of year so… classic. I await not material gifts, but memorable gifts. It is the time of year that is darkest in light, yet bright in spirit. I sometimes wonder if the people realize that we create it.

We are surrounded by energy. Our galaxy, our planet, our environment, our bodies, our thoughts are energy generated. This is, as well can be “the most wonderful time of the year”, But why not realize that everyday, every hour , minute, and second, it can be the most we can make it?

When we least have, we can give the most. If it is your time to listen, talk or do for an other, then it is giving. The time that you least want for yourself, the time that you least buy for your self, and the least do for yourself and turn the table to do all this for another can and will be your best feeling, your best experience, your greatest lesson of humanity. You can help someone be happy in the darkest days of the season. Help them forget the time of day, help them forget the hungriest moment, help them forget a time of need, and replace it with joy and smiles they cannot wipe away.

2 weeks ago I “observed a German shepherd attacking 2 ducks in Groton, MA. I had my 2 boys and a friends dog I was taking care of. I saw it in a blink of an eye a few feathers and the 2nd duck attacking the German Shepherd. Cars drove by honking at me for doing such a quick stop.

I park in front the closes house to the left and get out to my surprise raising my arms as a bear and roaring “get away”, but on the other side of the car. The dog to my amazement ran away.  I saw the white duck lie flat on the ground. I thought it was dead and my hear t cracked with pain, the 2nd duck ran away sort of flying. As I approach, the seemingly dead bird, tries to get up and getaway but it was badly hurt and couldn’t.

So, I go the closest house that had a picket fence and barn, I thought “Hey! They must have livestock and ducks as pets there.” As I knock and knock, no one comes out. EXCEPT, the German shepherd that comes around the corner. As I step down their stairs with a bit of fear and anger, and yell “ANY ONE HOME!” to the top of my lungs, the dog comes charging and barking, and I yelled like I didn’t know I could. BUT I thought “gosh, this dog wants more to attack”. Nope, not really.  This dog did know a wrong was done. And the dog sheepishly went back to the picket fence to stare in. I called Groton Police, who showed within minutes.

Between the call and them arriving, I had gone back to my car to reassure my boys I was fine and I also realized I couldn’t get into the car for “dog cover” because I didn’t know how my friends dog in the car would react to a white duck in my arms, AND my kids noise IN the car. So, I started walking back, and when cruiser parked in the entrance, that is when the picket fence owner came out. The dog was gone, hmm.

I immediately ask “do you own livestock, chickens or ducks?” “No.” She says.   “Do you own a German Shepherd?” I ask. “Yes” She says. The police officer asks “where is it? ” “In the barn” she says. Annoyed, I say “It wasn’t a few minutes ago!” “he tried attacking me, am not sure if he bites, ya know? I was afraid of putting down the bird and afraid for me.”

She stated “Oh my neighbor is gonna freak out.” I said “Yes, she will if they are pets.” I realize a lot of time has passed, and I have  an appointment.”  so I excuse myself and put the poor duck down. My heart cracked again, wondering what was to become of someones pet duck. I wondered if I made another mistake of helping a wild animal that was going to die anyways , but I felt that it wasn’t wrong, because it wasn’t wild. I wondered if I made a bad decision of using tax payers money to save what some would consider ” just an animal”. And if it was worth having been pooped on by a duck. :) I moved forward in thinking, and decided everything will be fine. I had the authorities involved and trusted the woman’s’ honor, so things would take care of themselves.

The next day I stopped by, hoping the dog wasn’t around, I went to the home I had not knocked on, the home of the owner of the ducks. I learned their names, Lilly and Annie. A sense of relief came over me. The ducks both had Surgery for puncture wounds and 1 for a broken femur. And the neighbors were in good standing. No lawsuits, no anger between them, but forgiveness.  Again another sense of relief for humanity.

Later, I received a call from Sandy, the owner. I can hear in her message an awkward happiness and gratitude. She said “I am just amazed and happy there are people like you in this world.”  All I can think of is, “I- am amazed, too. I just observed and reported.” :)

Merry Christmas Lilly and Annie!

Some people love children and don’t have them. Some people have children and don’t like the work that comes with it. I have to say it’s the hardest job that I enjoy, but the surprises I don’t like. The surprises, are the part we aren’t ready for. This morning I woke up to my cute 3 yearold, who had a smile, a cuddle and butterscotch pudding breath. Hmm… We found out he raided the refrigerator and ate as many butterscotch pudding cups as he could. Man was Daddy upset they were his snacks.

Fridge RAID 2010: Only the beginning. In time-out eating his Raisin bread dipped in Yogurt.

It’s so funny how some daddy’s don’t think something is a “big deal” unless it’s involved with something of theirs. So he yells “That’s IT we need a new LOCK!” He-llOOOOoo, that’s what I’ve been sayin’. So, we’re on the hunt for a better refrigerator lock, because the last one we had on the fridge the little guy figured it out last year in a week. NO exaggeration. I never thought I had to say this, but “I need to LOCK my fridge with a really good lock”. At least, until he understands, why I have bananas, and apples on the counter.

Life Lesson

If there is anything that children can teach us, it is to NEVER GIVE UP. Babies learn to crawl, to stand, to hold on, and start walking with one step, and then two steps, and so on. It’s all cute, when they are small and lumpy, at least until they are sprinting with sharp object. ANYWAY, parenting, work, exercise, new eating habits, starting something new, learning something that is NEW to YOU is all the same, try, and try again. Then practice and practice again. It’ll dawn on you how great you’re doing when you realize you are enjoying it. Whatever “it” is.

Let me know if you have fridge diving toddler. What was your solution?

Who is going to read your blog today? Whose blog did you read? Sounds a lot like,”Tell me who you walk with, and I will tell you who you are”.  Are you “plug-in worthy”? When you ask yourself this question… answer it honestly, because it is important to take responsibility for your energy- even in writing.

Power of the pen/pencil and paper

Hey, I know pen and paper is “old school”, you have a smart phone/tool, USE IT. I can’t say it enough- WRITE down what you want! Write down your vision. Write down all your ideas! Keep a small notebook handy. Everything is born small and then grows with daily stretches. So let’s pretend that you have lived a long life, and you are reading about your legacy, what will it be? Write it down! How incredible is it the day you look back at your notes and you have reached those goals and MORE?

Really think about it (but not too long)

Give yourself a timeline and expectation of the goal of your post? Is it ethical? Can you live with it? Will you need or want pictures? What’s your Return on Investment (ROI)? Is it fulfilling the purpose you set out? Is it building up or tearing down? Is it for you or someone else, or is it both? Get focused. Find out what is the energy you are using. Be open to feedback, because that is how you will know if your goals are being accomplished. What are you plugging into? What are you allowing yourself to be plugged into or being surrounded with? What feedback are you allowing to influence you? Are you happy with it? Ensure you accomplish something you can be happy with. Speed and accuracy comes with practice.

Be projection-conscious. Don’t ever forget boundaries

Ya’ll have got to remember, that everything we do has margins. These social behaviors are what allow us to co-exist. We can say things without harming or singling out others to get our point across. I totally “get it” that we can’t please everyone, but we don’t have to be hurtful either. Carloyn Myss[i] once said that “the mind can lie to the heart”. So get your focus ON, and clarify your statements.

Clear it up before you PUBLISH

Regardless, we aren’t all scientists, or doctors, we are made and surrounded by energy. If you don’t believe it, then you might as well give up everything you’ve got and go live in a cave. We all generate and put out energy, but more importantly we ought to be aware at all times of our physical, as well as non-physical energy.

BUT how do I do that?

Accept your fears, for what they are- concerns. Accept the present, so you can live life to the fullest.

Write it down, and read it out loud as if someone else handed it to you. By the way, don’t play the blame game.

Re-clarify honestly.  When in doubt get someone to proof-read your challenge; if necessary, rebuild for complete honesty.  And if you didn’t before try it again

“Accept the present, so you can live life to the fullest” NOW. When it comes down to it, all being that communicates such as novelists, playwrights, journalists, editors, radio hosts, comedians, commentators, and bloggers want to be heard. If you want to be heard, be responsible for your energy. Pull up a chair, and build the blog you have always wanted and create the posts everyone will read.

Like my friend Maria D says “Am just sayin…”


[i] Reference: Carolyn Myss- Energy anatomy.

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